A funny thing happened at the Doctors office yesterday....

Oh to be a nurse....

It's great, really. And I feel really blessed 99% of the time.

Minus the times that I get puked, pooped, or peed on....

or the nights that my patients scream all night long....

but I guess thats the 1% difference  :)

And then there's those lovely spiders.

I hate spiders. Especially blue ones....

That live on my legs.

Oh yeah, add that to the Nursing list of 'cons'.

So, I finally took the time to schedule an appointment to see a Vein Dr. (a phlebologist?? A Veinologist??) anyways...

I figured I needed to get some compression hose. Sexy, right?? Ohhh yeeeaaah...

So my appointment was yesterday morning after I got off work with the very charming (and might I add handsome) Dr. B. They took the standard health and family history. They asked lots of questions about if my mom had vein/vascular issues and I begrudgingly informed them that No, my mom has NO visible veins...I'm just a freak of nature who has apparently decided to start her own family history. I guess bad veins have to start somewhere in the family tree, right? Why not with me!!?

They took some baseline photographs and then the super nice sonographer started the ultrasound. Dr. B came in somewhere this time and was chatting with us both and kind of giving me the low-down on all things vein-related. About 15 minutes into the sonogram the tech found an area in my upper right thigh that was pretty dilated and was having some reflux in blood flow. To determine this reflux, they squeeze your legs from below while watching with the ultrasound. She also had me bear down and tighten my stomach muscles to see if the bloodflow was altered.

Well, my friends...thats when things got embarrassing...and NO, I didn't fart. 

I passed out.

I dont know whats wrong with me! Was it all the valsalva-ing? Was I hypoglycemic? The squeezing of thighs too much for me? I've passed out before...but not since I was a kid! 

I started getting that light-headed-room-spinning feeling and the last thing I remember thinking to myself is; 

'No, Beth...No, you're so not going to pass out right now....'  

BOOM. 

MAN DOWN.

Next thing I know I'm laying on my back and I realize oh gosh, I fell asleep in the Dr.'s office....

How embarrassing!! I start muttering some mumbo-jumbo to the Dr about how embarrassed I am, I can't believe I fell asleep- I just got off work....

aaaand WHY ARE YOU HOLDING MY LEGS UP IN THE AIR handsome Dr. B?? 

And ultrasound tech, why do you have a wet rag on my head??

OH MY GOD...say it aint so....I freaking passed out. 

What. a. WIERDO.

They made me lay there for about 10 minutes. And the sweet ultrasound tech ran and got me granola bar out of her lunch box! I could've just crawled under a rock. I must have looked like some sort of ghastly, pale-semblance of a human. I'm sure that my  mouth was hanging open and I was in full-on ugly sleep.

Ugh.

So Apparently, if anybody wants to take me out...just squeeze my right leg. 

So much for an Achilles HEEL.

I better get to writing my thank you card....

signed, The Freak That Passed Out  In Exam Room 1